The Violinist

My wife and I were taking our Holiday in Kodaikanal. It was mid-July, the town was empty and the vendors blamed the monsoon for coming in so early. After lunch, we decided to go to Saleth Church, one of my favorite spots. There was thick fog around the church when we reached and looked like it could rain anytime.

We heard the sound of Violin when climbing the steps but we were in a rush to see Mother Mary before someone did, before someone could take advantage of her wishes. It was silly of me to have thought Gods had their daily quota.

On the way down, the music was so subtle and seemed like a recording. When I listen more intently, it is clear that the music is, indeed, live. He was a beggar, should’ve been thrown out of home after living a decent life; I guessed by the quality of his composing. He must have looked for work, found all doors closed, despaired, given up, and now here he is… in an isolated church.

His eyes are fixed on the magical world where the music was composed; his hands share with us all his love, his soul, his enthusiasm, the very best of himself, all his years of study, concentration and discipline; though being a beggar himself.

The one thing he appears not to have understood is that no one, absolutely no one, has gone there to listen to him; in fact there was none at that place. But still he continued to play, not for money but for his own happiness. He didn’t notice us too; he was busy conversing with Mozart’s angels. My wife felt sad for him as she said there were none to witness his music at that time, not even god.

That’s a lie. God is listening. God is in the soul, and in the hands of this man, because he is giving the very best of himself, regardless of whether or not he is noticed, regardless of the money he gets paid. He is playing as if he were at the Opera in Paris. He is playing because that is his fate he had accepted, his joy, and his reason for living.

The Violinist ends and looks up, for the first time, he notices our presence. He gives us a discreet, polite nod, and we do the same. Then he returns to his paradise, and it is best to leave him there, untouched by the world, or even by our timid applause. He is serving as an example to us. Whenever we feel that no one is paying any attention to what we are doing, let us think of that Violinist.

He was talking to God through his work, and nothing else mattered.

The Musical Chair

It was a Sunday Afternoon and my friends were visiting us for Lunch. 

After a heavy lunch and light talks, the time was 5PM and I planned to do the Coffee Making, a skill I consider myself as expert. I was blending the ratio in the Kitchen where my Friends (Deepthi (Name changed) & Co) went to the Terrace as it was cloudy and the climate was pleasant. I carried the coffee and my wife carried the cookies and we went to serve the others.

Deepthi was talking about the job market, she said she had quit IBM and had recently joined Accenture. Though the work is not that great, she said has plans for sticking till appraisal and then search for another job. I asked her if there is something wrong with Accenture but she said things are fine, just that she needs a change now and then. I remember her working with CTS before IBM and Dell before CTS.

All of a sudden, we saw some kids playing the Musical Chair game in the opposite terrace. It was about to rain at any point of time, but the kids were determined to play and did not mind the heavy winds. Little did they know that they were helping me to create logic. A logic, I employed to make understand my friends about the importance of sticking to a job rather than jumping around.

I said to them to observe the game and they did. I pointed out to Deepthi – “Did you notice that when there were many chairs, there was competition and it was easy. But what happens when the chairs were pulled out one by one? The competition became tough. Either you like the chair or you hate the chair, you are forced to take a seat or to get out of the game. Similarly, when you are young, you have many opportunities presented to you. Life would look like a bed of roses when you have so much opportunities coming up your way. But as you get older/aged, your opportunities start to reduce. And at some point, you are forced to take an unpleasant career or to get perished. Why would you hop on at the present when you can settle down easily?”

She did not say anything. There was silence. With Silence came the rain which pushed us to go down to our home. Back at home, Deepthi was still silent and it isn’t normal for her to be silent. I knew she had listened. When they left home, my wife was impressed and asked me if she can use the logic to convey to her friends. I happily agreed. Never knew a small pep talk can create such an impact. I thanked the kids who were responsible for creating the theory :)

Madurai to Chennai - Scary Jetlite Experience

Over the past several years, I have become quite the frequent flyer, more so than I ever would have thought given the history of my fear of flying. Last year I clocked many flights, and perhaps the fear waned due to the sheer quantity of air travel.

However, during extreme turbulence I can definitely lose it. The worst I ever experienced was on a flight from Madurai to Chennai: it was monsoon season and the large plane bobbed up and down and in every direction possible, like a 360-degree roller coaster. With each dip, knock, and bump, passengers would gasp and some would scream. Thank heaven I had had a couple of Scotch shots before boarding the aircraft. But nevertheless, panic was about to set in.

I had to ensure that my inflatable life vest is in place before lowering myself halfway into the crash position. Of course, I try to pretend that I’m searching for something in my backpack that I've placed under the seat in front of me but I’m really just getting ready for the inevitable impact. I know that airplanes themselves are engineered to take a remarkable amount of punishment, including stress limit criteria for both positive and negative G-loads; but this vibration is kick ass!

I was trying to keep cool but I can feel my adrenaline rising when the plane dropped a good couple of meters  A few girls behind me started screaming as the plane began to shake violently, Ten minutes later, there was a girl having a slight panic attack in the seat behind me. Someone was crying a few rows behind. We were still shaking violently; you could feel the plane rolling left and right (or was that just my imagination?). A woman (I later found out that she was a Fashion Designer) was cursing her man loudly to have chosen Jet Lite :)

Slowly, I started gaining sense and what really helped me may sound a bit morbid, and dramatic. I made sure I called my wife before the flight (thinking last words) and then I just decided, I've lived a good life, better than most of the 6 billion on this Earth. Knowing the pilot doesn't want to crash either, I was able to reality check myself and just cope. I wasn't willing to give up travel, so I just had to get over it.

The turbulence continued to escalate so that the pilot called for the flight attendants to buckle up and suspend all cabin service. I was seated in a bulkhead seat, and on this airplane the stewardesses had to seek safety on fold-down seats directly in front of me.

Gone were their syrupy smiles, which were replaced with undisguisable expressions of abject fear. One shaken attendant said to the other, “This is not good, not good at all; I’ll bet he’s going to turn around and head back to Madurai!” The other attendant didn't say a word, but just reached into her pocket and pulled out a Rosary. Needless to say, I was not very comforted.

111 - What my life has taught me!

• Ø  Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. 
• Ø  Never tell someone their dreams are impossible. You’ll feel like a fool when they prove you wrong.
• Ø  No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
• Ø  Pursuing happiness by acquiring material things (fancy cars, expensive jewelry, designer clothing) is like jogging to the grocery store on your treadmill: it won’t get you anywhere.
• Ø  Laugh at stupid jokes. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. It’s the small moments that make life grand.
• Ø  At 29, I regret the things I didn’t do far more than the things I did.
• Ø  Life is way more enjoyable when you stop trying to be cool and simply focus on being yourself.
• Ø  Start by asking yourself whether each of your relationships drags you down or lifts you up. Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people is half the battle of living a happy, successful life.
• Ø  When the ‘want’ gets stronger, the ‘how’ gets easier.
• Ø  Too often we judge people on too little information. Instead of judging someone for what they do or where they are in their life, figure out why they do what they do and how they got to where they are.
• Ø  If you want to feel rich, just count all the great things you have that money can’t buy.
• Ø  I have taken noticed that the deeper I know about myself, the clearer I understand others.
• Ø  You can’t change who you are. You can only change what you know and how you apply this knowledge.
• Ø  I don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.
• Ø  People who are meant to be together will find their way back to each other. They may take detours, but they’re never lost.
• Ø  The older I get, and the more I learn, the more I realize I know so little. At 29, life still teaches me new lessons every day.
• Ø  You can press forward long after you can’t. It’s just a matter of wanting it bad enough.
• Ø  Complaining is like slapping yourself for slapping yourself. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just hurts you more.
• Ø  Embrace change. As uncomfortable as it is sometimes, change allows us to stretch and grow. New things feel awkward and scary at first, but those feelings go away, and you are left with something bigger and bolder in your life.
• Ø  Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready. 
• Ø  No matter how bad your heart has been broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. The sun comes right back up the next day.
• Ø  Supporting, guiding, and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. In order to get, you have to give.
• Ø  Learn to adjust the sails of your life to unpredictable winds, while keeping your focus clear on your destination. And keep sailing until you get there.
• Ø  As you strive to achieve your goals and dreams you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way. Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one. Think of these disappointments as challenges - tests of persistence and courage - that life throws at you during your journey. They are necessary and are meant to help you grow as a person.
• Ø  Spend less than you earn, go without until you have the money in hand.
• Ø  Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
• Ø  Even when you feel like you have nothing, someone else likely has far less. Find them and help them. You’ll see why.
• Ø  Marriages evolve and change. The feelings you had for the man or woman you married will mutate and evolve several times over the life of a marriage. Hopefully you will evolve in the same direction or at least embrace and accept the changes in the other person. It takes work, and sometimes it takes counseling. Don’t gloss over those changes or you may wake up next to a stranger one day.
• Ø  Negativity breeds more negativity. When you focus only on the negative, obviously that’s all you will see. You will not seek out positivity, and even when positivity comes into your life, you’ll look for the negative side of things.
• Ø  If you want something in your life you’ve never had, you’ll have to do something you’ve never done.
• Ø  As a child, I always thought the expression “it’s better to give than to receive” was trite and silly. As an adult, I recognize the expression’s value. Having the capacity to give means you possess a mindset of abundance. Having the will to give means you want to make a difference in the world. Having the desire to give means you care.
• Ø  It’s not so much what you say that counts, it’ how you make people feel.
• Ø  Figure out what you want. Set real goals and make a logical plan to achieve them. It’s like the old saying, “A goal that is never written down is nothing more than a New Year’s resolution.” And we all know what happens to New Year’s resolutions.
• Ø  Being open-minded is the key to more knowledge. If you want to know more about the world you have to keep an open mind. You have to give people and things a chance.
• Ø  If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It really is this simple.
• Ø  If something won’t be significant to you 3 days/3 months/3 years from now, don’t waste all your time worrying about it now.
• Ø  Manage aging, but why fight it? You can spend a fortune on face creams, plastic surgery, hair growth formulas, and Botox, but eventually you realize you are fighting an uphill battle. Groom yourself nicely. Stay fit. Have unsightly things removed. But accept the beauty of aging. A striking mature man or woman is much more attractive than someone who looks overly taunt, tanned or top-heavy.
• Ø  Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
• Ø  Being busy and being productive are two different things.
• Ø  Life is unbelievably brief. When you’re young, you might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you. But trust me; it passes much faster than you think. You get gray hairs before you feel like a real adult. And then you have kids, and suddenly they’re leaving for college. Stop long enough to appreciate it all.
• Ø  Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
• Ø  Your health is your life, keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.
• Ø  Change is the only permanent thing in life.
• Ø  Having a thousand credentials on the wall will not make you a decent human being. But genuinely helping one person everyday will.
• Ø  You must create and look for opportunities. Opportunities rarely ever come knocking on the door of someone who’s not seeking them. You have to create and seek opportunities for yourself. You have to take the initiative to get the ball rolling and the doors opening.
• Ø  Keep your brain active. Don’t get into a mental rut. Do new things, learn new things, and explore new ideas in all areas of your life. Keep challenging yourself and your mind. Be curious and interested in the world around you.
• Ø  Someone always has it worse. At times you may be having a bad day, but stop yourself and think about it; there are plenty of other people who have it worse off than you do.
• Ø  In work and business, when they need you more than you need them, you have succeeded.
• Ø  Trying to be somebody you’re not is not sexy. Be you. That’s when you’re beautiful.
• Ø  Truly ‘rich’ people need ‘less’ to be happy.
• Ø  Your ability to select a suitable spouse will greatly influence your financial and emotional well-being. Three common sense guidelines: 1. Pick someone who’s a joy to be around and who makes you happy. 2. Know the person well. 3. Ensure compatibility beyond physical attraction because beauty and youth are fleeting, while the mind and heart endure.
• Ø  No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible. Or they may incessantly suggest that the idea or dream as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares. When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them. Instead, forget that they exist. They will only waste your time and energy.
• Ø  We are all weird. And life is weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we call it love.
• Ø  Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.
• Ø  Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
• Ø  If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
• Ø  Bullshit might help you get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there. The truth always rises to the top and buries the bullshit eventually.
• Ø  After teaching & grooming my team, I’ve come to realize that a teacher is nothing but a clever student.
• Ø  Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile.
• Ø  Forgiving yourself is far more important (and difficult) than getting others to forgive you.
• Ø  Simplicity is often a major factor of success. But the process of simplifying things is rarely easy.
• Ø  There are few joys in life that equal a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend.
• Ø  Laughter is the best medicine for stress. Laugh at yourself often. Find the humor in whatever situation you’re in.
• Ø  Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective.
• Ø  When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.
• Ø  When passion and skill work together, we’re often left with a masterpiece.
• Ø  You’re not alone. Everyone has problems. Some people are just better at hiding them than others.
• Ø  True friendship and true love do sustain the tests of distance and time.
• Ø  It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary. I believe this to be true and have experienced this with my own family. When I think of the times where we laughed the most or had the most fun – it was when we were doing simple, everyday things like swimming in a pool, combing a beach for shells, playing a board game or sharing a delicious meal.
• Ø  Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
• Ø  It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel.
• Ø  Arguments are natural. An argument between two close friends doesn’t show a lack of love or respect, it’s simply a disagreement. In fact, quite often, the only reason we get frustrated with people and argue with them is because we care about them. Which is why we need to remember not to get too carried away.
• Ø  Money and stuff are not all that important. Yes, you want enough to be comfortable and do the things you want to do. But accumulating for the sake of accumulating is boring and empty. Trust me, it gets old fast. So feed your soul, not your ego.
• Ø  Hang out with younger people. Stay connected with what the generation behind you is doing and thinking. Establish friendships with them. You will benefit and learn from each other. Don’t act superior, because younger people may know a whole lot more than you do.
• Ø  There is nothing to hold you back except yourself. There is only one question to ask yourself here: “What would you do if you were not afraid?” Think about it.
• Ø  No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
• Ø  Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it.
• Ø  Your years spent at school, reading and learning will seem short compared to a lifetime of minimum wage jobs. Get a good education, concentrate on areas that interest you and pursue your dreams.
• Ø  Keep six months of your salary in an emergency savings account just in case you lose your job or have an emergency that prevents you from working for a prolonged period of time. And keep a few extra hundred dollars on hand for unexpected expenses, such as car and home repair.
• Ø  A hero is someone who makes a positive difference in someone else’s life – even if it’s only one other person’s life.
• Ø  You’re never too old to follow your dreams, whatever they may be. I didn’t believe when I got a job into Human Resources at the age of 22. Now at 29, my career is more successful than I ever could have dreamed.
• Ø  Let your kids fail. Your kids will be okay, even if you think they are headed for the juvenile hall right now. Don’t come to their rescue all the time. Don’t manage every detail of their lives or over-schedule them with karate or violin lessons. Give them some boundaries, and then relax.
• Ø  Be vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel, to be open and authentic. Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome new opportunities.
• Ø  There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’ Everything you do or don’t do in life has an inherent risk.
• Ø  Take a step back to gain some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the grand scheme of things, this one problem means almost nothing.
• Ø  Every mistake you make is progress. Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
• Ø  The greatest “adventure” is the ability to INQUIRE, TO ASK QUESTIONS. Sometimes in the process of inquiry, the search is more significant than the answers. Answers come from other people, from the universe of knowledge and history, and from the intuition and deep wisdom inside yourself.
• Ø  If it were easy everyone would do it. This is why get rich quick schemes will never be true. If it was so quick and easy then everyone would be millionaires. Making money and accomplishing tasks is hard work, but well worth it.
• Ø  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
• Ø  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
• Ø  Count your blessings every day. I know, this is a refrigerator magnet line, but practice it daily anyway. There is so much good, so much beauty, so much love in your life. What more do you really need? You have so much right now, you just need to pause long enough to appreciate it.
• Ø  It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance. You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work. But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Sometimes you just have to go for it!
• Ø  The one with nothing to hide is always the one left standing tall.
• Ø  There is only one way to learn, and that is through action. Trying to learn without doing is like trying to lose weight by watching someone else exercise. It’s just not going to work.
• Ø  Change happens for a reason. Roll with it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
• Ø  Experience life before you settle down. Whatever it is you want to do or experience, do as much of it as you can before you have children. Especially travel. Live in a hostel in Kodaikanal for a month or drive across the country from coast to coast if you have to. But go have some really great, amazing, mind-blowing experiences.
• Ø  Life gives and takes away. During difficult times, be committed to resolving problems, but also lighten up and ride the waves of impermanence. What is a monster problem today will be a forgotten thought in the future.
• Ø  When two people cooperate instead of competing against each other their teamwork accomplishes far more than either of them could have achieved on their own.
• Ø  Between what happened and what will happen is your choice. So choose to be positive in everyday tasks.
• Ø  The best feeling in the world is getting paid to do what you love to do.
• Ø  Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart.
• Ø  If you’re smiling right now, you’re doing something right.
• Ø  If you live your life consumed by the past, you waste the great moments you still have left to live.
• Ø  Treat every small interaction with another person as an opportunity to make a positive impact in both your lives.
• Ø  There’s a big difference between knowing and doing. Knowledge is useless without action.
• Ø  Time is of the essence. You are born and you will die. Don’t waste the time in between. Use a time management system to control events, rather than have events controlling you.
• Ø  The French have an aphorism that you don’t appreciate something until you don’t have it anymore. In 40 years from now what is it that you will regret not having accomplished, appreciated or attempted? Do it, appreciate it, attempt it NOW!
• Ø  If it’s out of your control, why fret about it? Concentrating on things you can control is how you make good things happen.
• Ø  Never send a text message, email or photo to someone that’s unfit for the eyes of the entire world. In this digital age you never know what might slip into the public eye.
• Ø  The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
• Ø  The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do!

Call Centers - Bangalore Times

Finally, with this book, my reading block seems to have gone away. Whew!

Bangalore Calling, a debut novel by Brinda S. Narayan is a series of short stories strung together into a full-length novel. The setting is a call-center in Bangalore, the story is about various people from different walks of life who work there, and how working in a call-center has changed their lives. The people are from all walks of life – the maid who cleans restrooms, to the expat CEO who is trying to implement American HR policies in an Indian company, to the American manager who is worried about losing her job…they are all covered here. And covered in a very empathetic way. No one is all wrong or all right. It’s just different people viewing various incidents in different ways.

All the stories touched me in some form or the other. But my favorite story has to be about a deaf girl who is marginalized at home. When her brother working in the call center receives a relay call (a mechanical voice that speaks for a deaf-mute professor), he realizes that being deaf does not mean that a person should be uneducated. His dawning realization and the change in his attitude towards his sister is very beautifully captured.

Actually, all the story snippets are excellent. The writing is top-notch, and I love the mature, thoughtful approach that Brinda Narayan has taken. Thanks to Sutherland (Worked as a HR), I know much about call centers and the author seems to have done enough research to give the story setting a very authentic feel. I recalled my days when I was in Chennai and working on the Technical Support Recruitment indents.

This book is a must-read for anyone interested in life in Bangalore, and the booming call center industry. I am repeating myself again, but this book is GOOD, and I am really happy to have spent time on it. Quality time spending.

And yes, because I love this book so much, I really want to spread the word out there about this book. If you had a chance to read it, READ IT!

Watching TV @fter a long time...

My Wife is doing double-duty at her hospital due to this free health check program which runs for 10 days this month for pulling in new patients thereby increasing the in-house bed occupancy which is part of the hospital’s KRA. Cheap, Crap, and whatever you can name about this program. There’s another hospital which advertises about sending its practioners to home and that’s crap too. The medical industry has to have its own uber-attitude and should not pitch down on pitiful marketing initatives.

Anyways the house is now super-quiet and I have been bored to death. All the time she is at home, I keep cribbing about the non-stop chatter, and the all-too frequent interruptions, but gosh! the house feels so empty when she is away.

Anyway, this weekend I decided to at least take some advantage of the situation, and watch some TV…something I am doing after months. Boy, I didn’t realize it’s so difficult to get hold of quality programming. All I seemed to get were reality/music shows. Finally though, landed on Discovery where they had just started this awesome documentary – Jihad – The Men and Ideas behind Al Qaeda. Pretty engrossing stuff. They go into the childhood and early lives of Osama bin Laden and Ayman Al Zawahiri, how their ideologies and thoughts, and the political and military turmoil of that region eventually gave birth to Al Qaeda.

Pretty in-depth, and non-biased reporting, and tons of first-hand accounts with people who knew them and who had been/still are part of their Jihadist movement make this program a must-watch. I think this show lasted 2 hours? (maybe more), but it is totally gripping and a fascinating peek into a world and a way of living that is so different from what we know.
I can’t say though that this program answered all my questions. I watched it hoping to understand bin Laden’s beliefs and world-view a little more, but I didn’t really get that. He remained as enigmatic and undecipherable as before.

The section on Al-Zawahiri was extremely illuminating though. His background – as a boy he was highly influenced by Muslim Brotherhood thought leaders who wanted an Islamist Egyptian government that followed the law of God. His path to terrorism seems to have started when one of the people he looked up to were thrown into prison and brutally tortured and killed. His later experiences in an Egyptian prison seem to have further hardened him and set him on this destructive path.

Makes me wonder how many juvenile terrorists, our prisons, unfair criminal system, and brutal torture methods are breeding now?